Please enable JavaScript in your browser to experience all the custom features of our site.

RabbiHorowitz.com

Mr. Harry Skydell, Chairman
Mr. Mark Karasick, Vice Chairman
Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, Director
Rabbi Avrohom M. Gluck, Director of Operations
The first 1000 members will have a chance to win a
16 GB
iPod
touch
with Rabbi Horowitz audio

Membership Benefits:

  • Save articles to your favorites folder.
  • Save and print selected articles in a PDF journal.
  • Receive emails containing the latest comments on your favorite articles.
  • Mark articles as "READ".
  • More member features coming soon...

Raffle Rules:

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. To enter, complete the signup form and join as a member. Incomplete entries will be disqualified. All entries shall become the property of CJFL. CJFL is not responsible for lost, misdirected or delayed entries.

The contest is open to the general public. Members need to be at least 18 years old. Identification must be produced on request. Employees of CJFL, its raffle sponsor, advertising and promotional agencies and their respective affiliates and associates and such employees' immediate family members and persons with whom such employees are domiciled are excluded from this raffle. ALL PREVIOUSLY REGISTERED MEMBERS WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY ENTERED INTO THIS RAFFLE. The prize is not redeemable in cash and must be accepted as awarded. Decisions of the raffle judges are final - no substitutions will be available. By claiming the prize, the winner authorizes the use, without additional compensation of his or her name and/or likeness (first initial and last name) and municipality of residence for promotion and/or advertising purposes in any manner and in any medium (including without limitation, radio broadcasts, newspapers and other publications and in television or film releases, slides, videotape, distribution over the internet and picture date storage) which CJFL may deem appropriate. In accepting the prize, the winner, acknowledges that CJFL may not be held liable for any loss, damages or injury associated with accepting or using this prize. CJFL retains the rights, in its absolute and sole discretion, to make substitutions of equivalent kind or approximate value in the event of the unavailability of any prize or component of the prize for any reason whatsoever. This contest is subject to all federal, provincial and municipal laws. CJFL reserves the right to withdraw or terminate this raffle at any time without prior notice. One entry per person.


Davening - Part 1 -- "A"
by Rabbi Yakov Horowitz
Publication: Chicago Community Kollel

  Rated by 6 users   |   Viewed 20570 times since 11/2/06   |   6 Comments
Decrease Font Size Increase Font Size    [ Change Font Size ] Email This Article to a Friend
   

11/2/06

Chicago Community Kollel Interactive Parenting Column #10

1) Dear Rabbi Horowitz:

My 12-year-old daughter is B”H a well-rounded, hard working Bais Yaakov girl. She takes her schoolwork seriously and she has a nice circle of friends.

Recently, I’ve been noticing a disturbing trend. On Shabbos and Sunday morning, when she does not have school, she has begun to sleep in unusually late and often does not daven Shacharis. Even when she wakes up with enough time to daven, she seems to be procrastinating and looking for excuses to avoid having time to daven. This is particularly disturbing to me as her mother, due to the fact that I’ve always made a great effort to daven every day – despite the challenges it entails.

How do I get my daughter to appreciate the chashivos and beauty of Tefillah without making her feel that Yiddishkeit is a burden?

Yocheved

2) Dear Rabbi Horowitz:

My eight-year-old son comes to shul with me Shabbos mornings. I enjoy walking to shul with him and we both like spending the time together. However, he quickly gets bored after about fifteen minutes of davening. What can I do to motivate him to daven better?

My wife keeps telling me that I should ‘lighten up’ with him and not subject him to such a long davening in shul. I keep telling her that I went to shul when I was his age.

We would appreciate your hadracha (guidance) with this.

Nachum

Rabbi Horowitz Responds

Yocheved, Nachum:

I guess that an effective method for addressing your questions would be to analyze the factors and conditions that are conducive to creating the environment for sincere tefilah – in adults. If you are a regular reader of these lines, you know that it is my strong feeling that many of the issues that we deal with in raising children are, in fact, issues that we as adults are struggling with.

Once we have a better understanding of these factors and conditions, it will be easier to reflect on your child’s unique situation as it pertains to his/her davening. You will then be in a better position to develop an action plan to help with that process.

I would suggest that among the many possible pre-requisites for inspired tefilah, four important ones would be:

1) A rudimentary understanding of the Hebrew text of the davening, and preferably an appreciation for the context and deeper meaning in these tefilos.

2) A feeling of vulnerability or a void/need in our lives that we hope tefilos will fill.

3) A feeling of connection to Hashem and the faith that our tefilos are answered.

4) And, in the case of children; age-appropriate settings and expectations for tefilos.

A careful reading of these factors will reveal that if any of these are lacking, it is entirely possible that the result will be rote, uninspired tefilos or, worse yet, a complete lack of participation in tefilah. Please permit me to expand on each of these items – with some suggestions for remediation in areas that may be lacking.

1) Understanding Our Tefilos

When parents would solicit Reb Yaakov Kaminetsky z’tl for advice on how to inspire their children to daven properly, he was known to ask them if their children understood what they were reading. When you think about it, it is a rather logical question. After all, imagine if we were asked to recite Latin poetry (le’havdil) with emotion and passion – not understanding what we were reading!!

If you find that your child is lacking an understanding of the basic tefilos (and perhaps this is an area where you, as well, are in need of assistance), perhaps consider exploring the meaning of davening during your Shabbos meals. You may also think about approaching the Rav or President of your shul and discuss the possibility of introducing shiurim on tefilah to your shul.

Another way to go would be to purchase some of the superb English-translation siddurim – including the ‘trans-linear’ ones recently released. They are powerful tools in our efforts to increase appreciation for our tefilos. And please do not get hung up about what ‘others’ or your children will think about your need for assistance in gaining a better understanding of davening at this stage in your life. It is a wonderful and powerful statement that you take davening seriously when you invest time, money and effort in personal and spiritual growth. Our children watch us very carefully, and they will be picking up an invaluable chinuch lesson from you when they see that you are willing to face your shortcomings and have the courage to self-assess and shteig (grow spiritually) years or decades after you left Yeshiva or Beis Yakov.

For younger children, there is a series of sequential workbooks on tefilah by Rabbi Mayer Bernbaum that introduces children to birchas hashachar (the morning blessings), shema, and shemoneh esray. They are, in all likelihood, available at your local Judaica bookstore, from the author, Rabbi Bernbaum (973-778-8536), or through the Torah Umesorah Publication office (718-259-1223 or email mail@tupublications.com).

Best wishes for a G’mar Chasimah Tova.

Yakov Horowitz

© 2006 Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, all rights reserved



To sign up for Rabbi Horowitz’s weekly emails, please click here.


Related Articles:
Davening - Part 2 -- "A"
Davening - Part 3 -- "A"


Reader's Comments:      Rating & Comments Policy      Rate & Write a Comment!
 Average Rating:              Rated by 6 users    (6 comments)
Subscribe to this Article
(by subscribing you will receive email notification
when new comments are posted)
There are no comments yet. Click above to write the first comment.
Dear Readers:

Please visit our Parenting Resource listing to learn about agencies and services that you can make use of. If you know of an agency that can be of assistance to others, kindly drop an email to our site administrator at admin@RabbiHorowitz.com and pass along the information to him.

I ask that you please consider supporting the work we are doing to improve the lives of our children. Click on these links to learn more about our teen and parent mentoring program that serves hundreds of teens and their families, or our KESHER program, now in 20 schools in 4 states. Your financial support can allow us to expand these services and help more children.

If you believe in the governing principles of this website – to help effect positive change through the candid discussions of the real issues we collectively face, please consider becoming a daily, weekly or monthly sponsor of this website and help defray the costs of it’s maintenance.



Working with Families and Educators on Behalf of our Children

This site is managed by The Center for Jewish Family Life, Inc., 56 Briarcliff Drive, Monsey, NY 10952
Project Y.E.S. was founded by Agudath Israel of America
The Center for Jewish Family Life/Project YES - 56 Briarcliff Drive, Monsey, NY 10952 (845) 352-7100 ext. 114 Fax: (845) 352-9593
email: email@kosherjewishparenting.com


Advertisements