Please enable JavaScript in your browser to experience all the custom features of our site.

RabbiHorowitz.com
Please Use Our New Website
still under constructions
to purchase safety books and educational materials
https://thebrightbeginnings.com

Mr. Harry Skydell, Chairman
Mr. Mark Karasick, Vice Chairman
Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, Director
Rabbi Avrohom M. Gluck, Director of Operations
The first 1000 members will have a chance to win a
16 GB
iPod
touch
with Rabbi Horowitz audio

Membership Benefits:

  • Save articles to your favorites folder.
  • Save and print selected articles in a PDF journal.
  • Receive emails containing the latest comments on your favorite articles.
  • Mark articles as "READ".
  • More member features coming soon...

Raffle Rules:

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. To enter, complete the signup form and join as a member. Incomplete entries will be disqualified. All entries shall become the property of CJFL. CJFL is not responsible for lost, misdirected or delayed entries.

The contest is open to the general public. Members need to be at least 18 years old. Identification must be produced on request. Employees of CJFL, its raffle sponsor, advertising and promotional agencies and their respective affiliates and associates and such employees' immediate family members and persons with whom such employees are domiciled are excluded from this raffle. ALL PREVIOUSLY REGISTERED MEMBERS WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY ENTERED INTO THIS RAFFLE. The prize is not redeemable in cash and must be accepted as awarded. Decisions of the raffle judges are final - no substitutions will be available. By claiming the prize, the winner authorizes the use, without additional compensation of his or her name and/or likeness (first initial and last name) and municipality of residence for promotion and/or advertising purposes in any manner and in any medium (including without limitation, radio broadcasts, newspapers and other publications and in television or film releases, slides, videotape, distribution over the internet and picture date storage) which CJFL may deem appropriate. In accepting the prize, the winner, acknowledges that CJFL may not be held liable for any loss, damages or injury associated with accepting or using this prize. CJFL retains the rights, in its absolute and sole discretion, to make substitutions of equivalent kind or approximate value in the event of the unavailability of any prize or component of the prize for any reason whatsoever. This contest is subject to all federal, provincial and municipal laws. CJFL reserves the right to withdraw or terminate this raffle at any time without prior notice. One entry per person.


Our 9-11
Education and “Saying Something”
by Rabbi Yakov Horowitz
This article orignally appeared in The Jewish Press

  Rated by 6 users   |   Viewed 7441 times since 7/20/11   |   2 Comments
Decrease Font Size Increase Font Size    [ Change Font Size ] Email This Article to a Friend
   

7/20/11

Our 9-11

Education and “Saying Something”

A sure-fire way to gauge in which generation you were raised would be to finish this sentence: "Where were you when ....?"

Baby boomers would say, "When President Kennedy was shot?" thirty-something's would respond, "When the space shuttle exploded?" and today's teenagers will reply, "On 9/11?"

These were shocking, transformational moments that are etched in our mind’s eye forever. We remember where we were standing when we heard the news and recall the sinking feeling in the pits of our stomachs as we thought that this just can't be happening.

Members of our community had our 9/11 moment last week when we heard that Leiby Kletsky a”h was allegedly murdered by one of our own. As was the case on 9/11, people of all stripes banded together to search and later to mourn for that precious neshama.

In the aftermath of 9/11, a paradigm shift occurred in our thinking about security. No longer would people saunter onto an airplane or enter a NYC tunnel without passing through the watchful eye of law enforcement personnel and fellow citizens alike. The ubiquitous, “If you see something, say something,” ads have been extraordinarily effective in training people to be more vigilant, and to report suspicious activity to the authorities.

It is of utmost importance that members of our community engage in a similar shift in thinking – and acting – in the aftermath of our 9/11, in the arena of the safety and security of our children. The two areas that demand our urgent attention are the education of our children regarding their personal space and safety and the critical need to immediately report all predators to the authorities.

Education is extraordinarily effective in training children and preventing abuse. Research shows conclusively that children who were spoken to about their personal space were more than six times as likely to take defensive action when approached by a predator. And all of these messages can be delivered in a perfectly modest manner appropriate for the most charedi homes.

As of this moment, Leiby's abduction seems to have been random in nature, and many parents in our community are limiting their discussions with their children to not taking rides from strangers. This is a grave and dangerous error. You ought to use this opportunity to provide each of your children from the youngest ages with a comprehensive, research-based model of child safety training.

Why? Because even if this is the case with Leiby, that would be an exception to the rule. The vast majority of predators are well-known to the victims and are often relatives or friends of the family.


Comprehensive child safety education includes the following components:

1) The notion of private space – your body belongs to you. Worded differently, get them to think of their own bodies like they would a snack of theirs – something that is exclusively theirs.

2.) Good touching/bad touching – One way of expressing this is to say that no one is allowed to touch you in a spot covered by a bathing suit.

3.) No one may tell you to keep secrets from your parents – as predators naturally want to drive a wedge between the child and his/her parents.

4.) If someone is making you uncomfortable, you have the right to say no – as many victims of abuse felt that they had no choice but to listen to the adult or older predator.

(Please note that these few lines do not do justice to a complex subject. Project YES conducted a series of workshops in the month of June to train parents in speaking to kids about personal space and abuse prevention. You can view the 33-minute video of one such presentation at http://vimeo.com/25322132 )

On a communal level, we urgently need to adopt and publicize a firm policy that predators need to be reported to the authorities.

Contacting someone like me when your child was molested is analogous to informing me that you saw someone carrying a suicide vest and suspect an imminent terror attack. I have no training in the counter-terrorism field, zero enforcement capability and a day job that precludes me from devoting the 24/7 attention to the case that it deserves and needs.

A predator is a rodef and every bit as dangerous as the guy with the suicide vest. Worse, in fact, because he can keep exploding young lives again and again until he is arrested and locked up.

Finally, there is one more similarity between our tragedy and that of 9/11 – that there were warnings, reports, and similar incidents, albeit on a smaller scale, which were not given the attention they deserved.

Many members of our community were lulled into a false sense of security and were not preparing our children with the types of safety training that perhaps could have helped Leiby refuse to enter a car with a stranger.

We cannot turn the clock back, and all the justifiable recriminations in the world will not bring Leiby back. However, the many abuse survivors in our community who have been misunderstood and even shunned are watching carefully for signs that this terrible tragedy will provide us with the resolve and steely determination to provide our children with a safe and secure future.

Lma'an Hashem, please let's finally make it happen.



To sign up for Rabbi Horowitz’s weekly emails, please click here.


Reader's Comments:      Rating & Comments Policy      Rate & Write a Comment!
 Average Rating:              Rated by 6 users    (2 comments)
Subscribe to this Article
(by subscribing you will receive email notification
when new comments are posted)
There are no comments yet. Click above to write the first comment.
Dear Readers:

Please visit our Parenting Resource listing to learn about agencies and services that you can make use of. If you know of an agency that can be of assistance to others, kindly drop an email to our site administrator at admin@RabbiHorowitz.com and pass along the information to him.

I ask that you please consider supporting the work we are doing to improve the lives of our children. Click on these links to learn more about our teen and parent mentoring program that serves hundreds of teens and their families, or our KESHER program, now in 20 schools in 4 states. Your financial support can allow us to expand these services and help more children.

If you believe in the governing principles of this website – to help effect positive change through the candid discussions of the real issues we collectively face, please consider becoming a daily, weekly or monthly sponsor of this website and help defray the costs of it’s maintenance.



Working with Families and Educators on Behalf of our Children

This site is managed by The Center for Jewish Family Life, Inc., 56 Briarcliff Drive, Monsey, NY 10952
Project Y.E.S. was founded by Agudath Israel of America
The Center for Jewish Family Life/Project YES - 56 Briarcliff Drive, Monsey, NY 10952 (845) 352-7100 ext. 114 Fax: (845) 352-9593
email: email@kosherjewishparenting.com


Advertisements