Please enable JavaScript in your browser to experience all the custom features of our site.

RabbiHorowitz.com
Please Use Our New Website
still under constructions
to purchase safety books and educational materials
https://thebrightbeginnings.com

Mr. Harry Skydell, Chairman
Mr. Mark Karasick, Vice Chairman
Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, Director
Rabbi Avrohom M. Gluck, Director of Operations
The first 1000 members will have a chance to win a
16 GB
iPod
touch
with Rabbi Horowitz audio

Membership Benefits:

  • Save articles to your favorites folder.
  • Save and print selected articles in a PDF journal.
  • Receive emails containing the latest comments on your favorite articles.
  • Mark articles as "READ".
  • More member features coming soon...

Raffle Rules:

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. To enter, complete the signup form and join as a member. Incomplete entries will be disqualified. All entries shall become the property of CJFL. CJFL is not responsible for lost, misdirected or delayed entries.

The contest is open to the general public. Members need to be at least 18 years old. Identification must be produced on request. Employees of CJFL, its raffle sponsor, advertising and promotional agencies and their respective affiliates and associates and such employees' immediate family members and persons with whom such employees are domiciled are excluded from this raffle. ALL PREVIOUSLY REGISTERED MEMBERS WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY ENTERED INTO THIS RAFFLE. The prize is not redeemable in cash and must be accepted as awarded. Decisions of the raffle judges are final - no substitutions will be available. By claiming the prize, the winner authorizes the use, without additional compensation of his or her name and/or likeness (first initial and last name) and municipality of residence for promotion and/or advertising purposes in any manner and in any medium (including without limitation, radio broadcasts, newspapers and other publications and in television or film releases, slides, videotape, distribution over the internet and picture date storage) which CJFL may deem appropriate. In accepting the prize, the winner, acknowledges that CJFL may not be held liable for any loss, damages or injury associated with accepting or using this prize. CJFL retains the rights, in its absolute and sole discretion, to make substitutions of equivalent kind or approximate value in the event of the unavailability of any prize or component of the prize for any reason whatsoever. This contest is subject to all federal, provincial and municipal laws. CJFL reserves the right to withdraw or terminate this raffle at any time without prior notice. One entry per person.


The Dog Ate It
by Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, Emuna Braverman

Not Rated Yet   |   Viewed 5414 times since 11/22/06   |   0 Comments
Decrease Font Size Increase Font Size    [ Change Font Size ] Email This Article to a Friend
   

11/22/06

Homework doesn't have to be a major source of struggle between parents and children.

"Could you edit my English essay?" "I need help with my algebra." "What do you know about the industrial revolution?" "I don't see the point of memorizing this table of chemical elements." "Can you review with me?"

The nights are a blur of questions and a clamor of voices as you tick off the days until summer vacation...

Homework can be a major source of struggle between parents and children of all ages. But that need not be the case.

As with any other challenge, half the battle is to honestly and reflectively assess the situation. The following analogy may help you to understand some of the do's and don't of effective homework time with your children. Walking a mile in your child's shoes may, in fact help you gain insight into the challenges you and your child face as homework time approaches.

For the past ten years, you have hired an accountant to prepare your tax returns. This year, you decided to try to fill out your 1040 tax forms on your own. You attended a three-hour seminar but you still have some questions. Who do you ask? You have some friends who are knowledgeable in the field of tax law. Some are brilliant and very knowledgeable but impatient and distracted. Others are average in their knowledge but are more patient and focused. Which qualities most inform your decision? As an exercise, please list the important of each quality below, rating it from 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest score:

Teaching skills..............................________
Acknowledged expert.....................________
Patience......................................________
Non-judgmental............................________
Ability to give undivided attention......________

When I conduct parenting classes on effective homework techniques, I often ask parents to self-assess in these areas. The vast majority of parents maintain that the last 3 attributes; patience and tolerance are far more important to them that expertise. After all, the questions they would pose are not that complicated. Therefore, the first order of business when doing homework with your child is to make every effort to present yourself as a resource, not a tester.

Your attitude to your adolescent's school and homework is another important factor. If you are frequently critical of your daughter's teacher, if you are dismissive of your son's English studies, your children may adopt the same attitude. It is important that you model respect for their studies and for their faculty members. Your child is entitled to get emotional and perhaps indignant about something his or her teacher may have said or done that day. Calmly listen -- well -- to what your child has to say. Try to present an alternative view of things. Try to have your son or daughter step back a bit and try to remove the emotion and anger from their reactions.

If your child is overwhelmed with the amount of homework he or she has, contact the teacher. If, in fact, most of the classmates are able to complete the homework in less time, you may choose to look into this matter more carefully. In the meantime, perhaps consider asking the teacher to accept a note from you that your child spent an appropriate time on homework, and have him or her do part of the work, say, every second math problem.

Set goals for your children, but try hard not to compare them to their siblings or to other children. Maybe your friend has a son who is very committed to and excited by learning. Don't expect your son to respond in similar fashion. Just focus on what's special about your son or daughter

It is difficult to force your teenagers to be someone they're not. You can help direct them but, as the Vilna Gaon cautions us, it is nearly impossible to change their basic nature. Don't hurt them or yourself by trying. If your teenager is unmotivated, harness the power of incentives. At all ages, incentives can be very effective. Maimonides speaks of long-term and short-term goals with children. He cautions parents not to confuse the two, and not to expect all children to be self-motivated at a young age. Not all incentives need be monetary in nature. Time spent with you is a powerful incentive as well.

If you find that you have neither academic tools nor the requisite patience to help your child effectively, consider hiring a tutor. Do not allow homework time to become a battlefield. Don't replay the same scenario daily. Your relationship with your child is far too important to have it eroded by daily struggles over homework.

One final point: Use this time to instill in your child a lifetime love for learning. Try not to 'only answer the questions', but rather add color to the canvas of your child's learning experience. Good luck!!

© 2005 Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, all rights reserved



To sign up for Rabbi Horowitz’s weekly emails, please click here.


Reader's Comments:      Rating & Comments Policy      Rate & Write a Comment!
 Average Rating:       Not Rated Yet
Subscribe to this Article
(by subscribing you will receive email notification
when new comments are posted)
There are no comments yet. Click above to write the first comment.
Dear Readers:

Please visit our Parenting Resource listing to learn about agencies and services that you can make use of. If you know of an agency that can be of assistance to others, kindly drop an email to our site administrator at admin@RabbiHorowitz.com and pass along the information to him.

I ask that you please consider supporting the work we are doing to improve the lives of our children. Click on these links to learn more about our teen and parent mentoring program that serves hundreds of teens and their families, or our KESHER program, now in 20 schools in 4 states. Your financial support can allow us to expand these services and help more children.

If you believe in the governing principles of this website – to help effect positive change through the candid discussions of the real issues we collectively face, please consider becoming a daily, weekly or monthly sponsor of this website and help defray the costs of it’s maintenance.



Working with Families and Educators on Behalf of our Children

This site is managed by The Center for Jewish Family Life, Inc., 56 Briarcliff Drive, Monsey, NY 10952
Project Y.E.S. was founded by Agudath Israel of America
The Center for Jewish Family Life/Project YES - 56 Briarcliff Drive, Monsey, NY 10952 (845) 352-7100 ext. 114 Fax: (845) 352-9593
email: email@kosherjewishparenting.com


Advertisements