Please enable JavaScript in your browser to experience all the custom features of our site.

Mr. Harry Skydell, Chairman
Mr. Mark Karasick, Vice Chairman
Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, Director
Rabbi Avrohom M. Gluck, Director of Operations
The first 1000 members will have a chance to win a
16 GB
with Rabbi Horowitz audio

Membership Benefits:

  • Save articles to your favorites folder.
  • Save and print selected articles in a PDF journal.
  • Receive emails containing the latest comments on your favorite articles.
  • Mark articles as "READ".
  • More member features coming soon...

Raffle Rules:

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. To enter, complete the signup form and join as a member. Incomplete entries will be disqualified. All entries shall become the property of CJFL. CJFL is not responsible for lost, misdirected or delayed entries.

The contest is open to the general public. Members need to be at least 18 years old. Identification must be produced on request. Employees of CJFL, its raffle sponsor, advertising and promotional agencies and their respective affiliates and associates and such employees' immediate family members and persons with whom such employees are domiciled are excluded from this raffle. ALL PREVIOUSLY REGISTERED MEMBERS WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY ENTERED INTO THIS RAFFLE. The prize is not redeemable in cash and must be accepted as awarded. Decisions of the raffle judges are final - no substitutions will be available. By claiming the prize, the winner authorizes the use, without additional compensation of his or her name and/or likeness (first initial and last name) and municipality of residence for promotion and/or advertising purposes in any manner and in any medium (including without limitation, radio broadcasts, newspapers and other publications and in television or film releases, slides, videotape, distribution over the internet and picture date storage) which CJFL may deem appropriate. In accepting the prize, the winner, acknowledges that CJFL may not be held liable for any loss, damages or injury associated with accepting or using this prize. CJFL retains the rights, in its absolute and sole discretion, to make substitutions of equivalent kind or approximate value in the event of the unavailability of any prize or component of the prize for any reason whatsoever. This contest is subject to all federal, provincial and municipal laws. CJFL reserves the right to withdraw or terminate this raffle at any time without prior notice. One entry per person.

Some Final Thoughts
by Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

Not Rated Yet   |   Viewed 6480 times since 11/22/06   |   0 Comments
Decrease Font Size Increase Font Size    [ Change Font Size ] Email This Article to a Friend



by: Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

I would like to leave you with an unforgettable story from my great rebbi. This is culled from an article that I wrote about Rabbi Avrohom Pam zt’l shortly after his passing several years ago.

Our great and humble rebbi taught three generations of talmidim how to deliver tochacha with darchei noam (pleasantness) – by his personal example of middos and derech eretz.


When reflecting upon the life of our great rebbi, Hagaon Horav Pam z’tl, the encounter of Eliyahu Ha’Navi with the Ribbono Shel Olam (Melachim1:19) comes to mind.

The Navi relates how Eliyahu stood by a mountain and waited for the presence of Hashem to appear. A great, powerful wind blew by him, followed by an earthquake (ra’ash), and then a fire. The Navi mentions that these cataclysmic forces were merely the precursor of Hashem’s presence. And then Hashem appeared to Eliyahu in a “kol demamah dakah – a still, soft sound.”

Our rebbi’s manner of teaching and guiding us was always one of a Kol Demamah Dakah – but the power and passion of his eloquent, soft-spoken words and the indelible impression of observing his refined character still resound in our ears and hearts.

Perhaps my most everlasting impression of Rav Pam z’tl was the time some 25 years ago, when he walked into the Beis HaMedrosh for shachris. A 10-year-old child had inadvertently taken our rebbi’s seat, which was in middle of the shul, not at the ‘mizrach wall’ (a position of honor at the front of the synagogue). As Rav Pam entered, wearing his talis and tefilin, several young men went over to the child to remove him from their rebbi’s seat. Too late. Rav Pam called the boy back. He moved his talis bag to one side of the table and shared his two-person shtender with the ten-year-old child. This was the chinuch that we received from our rebbi. No ra’ash, no aish, only the kol demamah dakah of kovod haTorah and kavod habriyos.

Before my first speech on the topic of at-risk teens (at the Torah Umesorah Convention nearly nine years ago), I visited Rav Pam, and asked him for his insights and guidance. He was silent for several moments. Then he told me a story. A sixty-five-year-old man had recently approached him at a wedding and thanked him for treating him with dignity and respect when he was a teenager in Yeshiva Torah Vodaas more than 5 decades ago. Rav Pam was proctoring an examination, and he observed this young man reading someone else’s paper during the test. Fully expecting to have his paper confiscated for ‘cheating’ and to be sent out of the room, this young man was startled when Rav Pam leaned over to him and whispered, “If you are having trouble reading a question, please ask me for help. I will be more than glad to read it for you”. (This story is all the more remarkable when taking in consideration Rav Pam’s lifelong abhorrence for all things dishonest.) My rebbi informed me that the middle-aged man told him that he was struggling in yeshiva at that time, and Rav Pam’s trust in him was a turning point in his life. With tears in his eyes, Rav Pam said, “Reb Yakov, imagine how things might have turned out if I had reacted more severely?”

Rebbi offered his original explanation as to the reason that our sages compared educators to stars. He said that the light of the stars does not reach us on Earth until several years after it was emitted. He encouraged us to remember that we should not become frustrated when we put our love and devotion into our talmidim and talmidos – and don’t see instant results. With the passage of time, the light we now shine upon them will illuminate their lives.

© 2005 Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, all rights reserved

To sign up for Rabbi Horowitz’s weekly emails, please click here.

Reader's Comments:      Rating & Comments Policy      Rate & Write a Comment!
 Average Rating:       Not Rated Yet
Subscribe to this Article
(by subscribing you will receive email notification
when new comments are posted)
There are no comments yet. Click above to write the first comment.
Dear Readers:

Please visit our Parenting Resource listing to learn about agencies and services that you can make use of. If you know of an agency that can be of assistance to others, kindly drop an email to our site administrator at and pass along the information to him.

I ask that you please consider supporting the work we are doing to improve the lives of our children. Click on these links to learn more about our teen and parent mentoring program that serves hundreds of teens and their families, or our KESHER program, now in 20 schools in 4 states. Your financial support can allow us to expand these services and help more children.

If you believe in the governing principles of this website – to help effect positive change through the candid discussions of the real issues we collectively face, please consider becoming a daily, weekly or monthly sponsor of this website and help defray the costs of it’s maintenance.

Working with Families and Educators on Behalf of our Children

This site is managed by The Center for Jewish Family Life, Inc., 56 Briarcliff Drive, Monsey, NY 10952
Project Y.E.S. was founded by Agudath Israel of America
The Center for Jewish Family Life/Project YES - 56 Briarcliff Drive, Monsey, NY 10952 (845) 352-7100 ext. 114 Fax: (845) 352-9593