Please enable JavaScript in your browser to experience all the custom features of our site.

RabbiHorowitz.com

Mr. Harry Skydell, Chairman
Mr. Mark Karasick, Vice Chairman
Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, Director
Rabbi Avrohom M. Gluck, Director of Operations
The first 1000 members will have a chance to win a
16 GB
iPod
touch
with Rabbi Horowitz audio

Membership Benefits:

  • Save articles to your favorites folder.
  • Save and print selected articles in a PDF journal.
  • Receive emails containing the latest comments on your favorite articles.
  • Mark articles as "READ".
  • More member features coming soon...

Raffle Rules:

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. To enter, complete the signup form and join as a member. Incomplete entries will be disqualified. All entries shall become the property of CJFL. CJFL is not responsible for lost, misdirected or delayed entries.

The contest is open to the general public. Members need to be at least 18 years old. Identification must be produced on request. Employees of CJFL, its raffle sponsor, advertising and promotional agencies and their respective affiliates and associates and such employees' immediate family members and persons with whom such employees are domiciled are excluded from this raffle. ALL PREVIOUSLY REGISTERED MEMBERS WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY ENTERED INTO THIS RAFFLE. The prize is not redeemable in cash and must be accepted as awarded. Decisions of the raffle judges are final - no substitutions will be available. By claiming the prize, the winner authorizes the use, without additional compensation of his or her name and/or likeness (first initial and last name) and municipality of residence for promotion and/or advertising purposes in any manner and in any medium (including without limitation, radio broadcasts, newspapers and other publications and in television or film releases, slides, videotape, distribution over the internet and picture date storage) which CJFL may deem appropriate. In accepting the prize, the winner, acknowledges that CJFL may not be held liable for any loss, damages or injury associated with accepting or using this prize. CJFL retains the rights, in its absolute and sole discretion, to make substitutions of equivalent kind or approximate value in the event of the unavailability of any prize or component of the prize for any reason whatsoever. This contest is subject to all federal, provincial and municipal laws. CJFL reserves the right to withdraw or terminate this raffle at any time without prior notice. One entry per person.


UPDATED: Mid-Winter Break
by Rabbi Yakov Horowitz
Publication: Chicago Community Kollel

  Rated by 24 users   |   Viewed 28157 times since 12/21/07   |   57 Comments
Decrease Font Size Increase Font Size    [ Change Font Size ] Email This Article to a Friend
   

12/21/07

Rabbi Horowitz:

We are a middle to upper middle class family. We both work, Baruch Hashem make ends meet, pay full tuition for our children, and have some money left at the end of the month to save for our children’s education and our retirement.

We find ourselves faced with an increasingly challenging experience each year when mid-winter break comes around. Some of our children’s friends go on expensive vacations with their families and our kids are asking for similar trips. Our children are respectful whenever they discuss this with us, but there is a clear sense that they feel ‘left out’ because they don’t go to the exotic location that some of their friends do.

The 2 of us keep going back and forth on this one; should we just go along with flow or should we stick to our guns and say that we just don’t feel the need to spend that much money on a vacation that last a few days.

Respectfully

Aviva and Yosef

Rabbi Horowitz Responds

Having raised our children on a mechanech’s salary, I can certainly identify with your dilemma of raising your children with a lower standard of living than some or many of their classmates.

Stepping back a bit, the overall matter of, ‘Keeping up with the Cohens,’ is something that many adults have a hard time dealing with. With that in mind, I give you a great deal of credit for not taking the expedient route of charging the expensive vacation on your credit card(s) and caving to communal pressure. If all adults built their homes, purchased their automobiles, and planned their simchos that way, we would have less stress in our lives. Therefore, keep in mind that there are profound lessons for your children to learn from this experience and significant opportunities for your family to bond during your mid-winter break.

Here are some suggestions:

  • Be honest with your children. Sit down with them as a group and explain things to them just as you described them to me in your email. Many parents never discuss finances with their children and then complain when their teenage children ‘think that money grows on trees.’ The more you acquaint them with budgeting and making appropriate choices with the finite amount of money at hand, the better prepared they will be to mange their own household finances in the years to come.
  • Give them choices of less expensive things to do during their mid-winter break. In fact, it may be a good idea for you to give your children an overall figure of what you can afford to spend on this mid-winter break and let them have a voice of how to spend it. There are lots of inexpensive things that you can do together as a family (such as ice-skating, snow-tubing, just to name 2 examples) that are less expensive than skiing or trips that require you to spend money on airfare and hotels. Most of what children appreciate and cherish as fond memories of vacation time is your ‘quality time’ with them. Try to set things up so that you can give them your undivided attention during the time you spend together during mid-winter break.
  • In the broadest sense, I suggest that is a good idea to teach your children about the value of money and the importance of budgeting. Open custodial savings accounts with them and encourage them to park some of their birthday, Chanukah and Purim gifts there. Perhaps offer them a ‘matching gift’ incentive where you give them, say, 50 cents for every dollar that they bank and leave in the account for a year. This will ingrain in them good habits of thrift and responsibility. It will also allow them to better understand your line of reasoning when you refuse a request of theirs for financial reasons.
  • Finally, always keep in mind that the golden path of moderation is the preferred one. Worded differently, I would say that when we veer too far to the right or left of the shvil ha’zahav, things tend to backfire. So, don’t go overboard in your refusal to ‘keep up with the Cohens.’ Remember that you can pick and chose with whom you wish to associate, while your children spend 8-12 hours each day with the peers in their classes – like it or not.

© 2007 Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, all rights reserved



To sign up for Rabbi Horowitz’s weekly emails, please click here.


Reader's Comments:      Rating & Comments Policy      Rate & Write a Comment!
 Average Rating:              Rated by 24 users    (57 comments)
Subscribe to this Article
(by subscribing you will receive email notification
when new comments are posted)
There are no comments yet. Click above to write the first comment.
Dear Readers:

Please visit our Parenting Resource listing to learn about agencies and services that you can make use of. If you know of an agency that can be of assistance to others, kindly drop an email to our site administrator at admin@RabbiHorowitz.com and pass along the information to him.

I ask that you please consider supporting the work we are doing to improve the lives of our children. Click on these links to learn more about our teen and parent mentoring program that serves hundreds of teens and their families, or our KESHER program, now in 20 schools in 4 states. Your financial support can allow us to expand these services and help more children.

If you believe in the governing principles of this website – to help effect positive change through the candid discussions of the real issues we collectively face, please consider becoming a daily, weekly or monthly sponsor of this website and help defray the costs of it’s maintenance.



Working with Families and Educators on Behalf of our Children

This site is managed by The Center for Jewish Family Life, Inc., 56 Briarcliff Drive, Monsey, NY 10952
Project Y.E.S. was founded by Agudath Israel of America
The Center for Jewish Family Life/Project YES - 56 Briarcliff Drive, Monsey, NY 10952 (845) 352-7100 ext. 114 Fax: (845) 352-9593
email: email@kosherjewishparenting.com


Advertisements