Please enable JavaScript in your browser to experience all the custom features of our site.

RabbiHorowitz.com - Contemporary Parenting Questions

Mr. Harry Skydell, Chairman
Mr. Mark Karasick, Vice Chairman
Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, Director
Rabbi Avrohom M. Gluck, Director of Operations
The first 1000 members will have a chance to win a
16 GB
iPod
touch
with Rabbi Horowitz audio

Membership Benefits:

  • Save articles to your favorites folder.
  • Save and print selected articles in a PDF journal.
  • Receive emails containing the latest comments on your favorite articles.
  • Mark articles as "READ".
  • More member features coming soon...

Raffle Rules:

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. To enter, complete the signup form and join as a member. Incomplete entries will be disqualified. All entries shall become the property of CJFL. CJFL is not responsible for lost, misdirected or delayed entries.

The contest is open to the general public. Members need to be at least 18 years old. Identification must be produced on request. Employees of CJFL, its raffle sponsor, advertising and promotional agencies and their respective affiliates and associates and such employees' immediate family members and persons with whom such employees are domiciled are excluded from this raffle. ALL PREVIOUSLY REGISTERED MEMBERS WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY ENTERED INTO THIS RAFFLE. The prize is not redeemable in cash and must be accepted as awarded. Decisions of the raffle judges are final - no substitutions will be available. By claiming the prize, the winner authorizes the use, without additional compensation of his or her name and/or likeness (first initial and last name) and municipality of residence for promotion and/or advertising purposes in any manner and in any medium (including without limitation, radio broadcasts, newspapers and other publications and in television or film releases, slides, videotape, distribution over the internet and picture date storage) which CJFL may deem appropriate. In accepting the prize, the winner, acknowledges that CJFL may not be held liable for any loss, damages or injury associated with accepting or using this prize. CJFL retains the rights, in its absolute and sole discretion, to make substitutions of equivalent kind or approximate value in the event of the unavailability of any prize or component of the prize for any reason whatsoever. This contest is subject to all federal, provincial and municipal laws. CJFL reserves the right to withdraw or terminate this raffle at any time without prior notice. One entry per person.

Contemporary Parenting Questions

BACK TO QUESTIONS MENU

Last updated on 11/13/08

What are some guidelines for parents with adult children living at home?

The teenage years are known to be tough, but for some, the years following are even harder. Although children always will remain so in their parent’s hearts, a young adult has the ability and right to make his or her decisions and mistakes. A young adult that still lives at home must balance their own lives as well as life with their parents; a difficult juggle to balance. Lately, more young adults have chosen to live with their parents. In 2001, 57% of young men and women, aged 20 to 24 were living with their parents and that number rises continuously.

It may be easier financially for young adults to live at home, but the opposite is true for their parents. Children can unknowingly cause a tremendous financial burden to their parents by living at home as an adult. Additionally, parents have to adjust to not being able to influence their child’s decisions or exercise control over their child.

If you have an adult child living in your house, you need to set firm rules that must be accepted as a condition of his or her continued right to remain. This is, after all, your home, and you have a right to expect that your standards of civility and family life are respected. Explain to your child, if need be, that in his own home he will have the right to set the rules, but here in your household, you and your spouse have ultimate authority.

In the Jewish Community

It is more common for adult children to live at home in the Jewish community than in many other communities, making the subject all the more relevant. Unlike non-Jews who typically leave home at the age of eighteen to go to college and do not come back, young men and women in the Jewish community are encouraged to live at home until marriage unless they are attending a post high school program far from home. Although that does not pose a problem if they get married young, tensions may rise after a few years of living together. Parents are reluctant to suggest that their children live away from home, fearing that their child will be lonely and crave human company. For some of the ultra-orthodox members of the Jewish community, there is a stigma for children who live independently, and many would rather suffer in silence than be ostracized from the community. Parents and young adults must work together to find the right solution for them. Every case is unique; there is no one size fits all solution.

Use the following links to learn about the benefits and disadvantageous of young adults living at home. Find out how to make your decision and how to act upon it.

Frequently Asked Links

Why do some young adults choose to live with their parents?

What do I owe my adult children financially?

What are some of the consequences of living with an adult child in the house?

How can parents and adult children live together successfully? more

What are some of the mistakes made by parents with adult children living at home and how can I avoid them?

How can I cope with the financial and emotional costs of having an adult child live at home?

How can I decide whether to allow my adult child to continue living at home or not?

How can I get my adult child to live independently?

How can I help my adult child move out without any hard feelings?

How should I behave towards my adult children after they leave the house?

By Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

Related Articles

Relinquishing Control -- The Difficult Art of Letting Go
by Rabbi Noach Orlowek

Resources

Parenting Resources for the Jewish Community

Compiled by Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

www.adultchildrenlivingathome.com

The hands on guide to surviving adult children living at home.

Rabbi Horowitz does not endorse any external sites or monitor or approve content on these sites. When considering information presented here, you should consult your experts to determine what is best for you. Our sole purpose is to help you access information that Rabbi Horowitz and others have made available on the internet.

BACK TO QUESTIONS MENU



Working with Families and Educators on Behalf of our Children

This site is managed by The Center for Jewish Family Life, Inc., 56 Briarcliff Drive, Monsey, NY 10952
Project Y.E.S. was founded by Agudath Israel of America
The Center for Jewish Family Life/Project YES - 56 Briarcliff Drive, Monsey, NY 10952 (845) 352-7100 ext. 114 Fax: (845) 352-9593
email: email@kosherjewishparenting.com


Advertisements