Approbations for the Parent Mentoring Program
A Message from our Director Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, L.M.H.C.:
It is very exciting to hear from so many of the parents we've worked with. They have strengthened their relationships with their
children, become more relaxed as parents, and found a new level of simchas hachaim in their homes. We look forward to sharing the
nachas with you and your children.
Parent Mentors who have been involved with the Parent Mentoring Program have made the following comments about their involvement
with the Parent Mentoring Program:
Dear Rabbi Ackerman,
You asked for my thoughts about what I've gained from being a parent mentor. Honestly, I myself have always struggled as a parent.
I guess you don't have to be a perfect parent to become a parent mentor! There were many times when I thought I did not know what I
was doing, and "Help I'm ruining my kid" thoughts would circle around my head.
With that introduction, I'd like to let anyone who cares enough to ask to know - being a parent mentor made me a better parent.
Just recently I was working with a parent to help her change her way of thinking and relating to her kids by replacing the word
"should" with "I wish." For example - "my daughter is 14, she should be able to … or "when you clean up you should make sure
everything is put in its proper place. Now she thinks, "my daughter is 14, I wish she would be able to …how can I help her get
there." And she tells her daughter "when you clean up, I wish you would put everything in its proper place," which leaves her
daughter with the space she needs to become more responsive and more eager to please her mother, rather than becoming defensive.
After I went through this with the mother I was mentoring, I suddenly became much more sensitive to my own kids and easily replaced
it with "I wish…" I found that the skills I learn and teach as a parent mentor for Project YES help me keep my tone of voice in
check, sometimes by just replacing one word for another. Consequently, my kids are generally more responsive, happier, and more
eager to please.
"Kol Hakovod" Rabbi Ackerman, for the wonderful work that you do. Like I said before, you are the trunk of the tree and we mentors
are its branches. It's the chizuk you give us. The understanding and patience you show us, the non-judgmental way that you deal
with our blunders. That makes you the master parent mentor - the living example for all of us to learn from, and then to pass on
to the other parents when we mentor.
Parents who have been involved with the Parent Mentoring Program have made the following comments about the help that they
received from the program:
“Thanks so much for a listening ear, sound advice, reasons to celebrate, a Nachas Notebook fit to print, lots of positive encouragement, and your selfless commitment to our appointments. May HaShem continue to give you much kochos to continue your excellent work… and may you have much nachas from your own children.”
“I wanted to thank you again for the help you gave me about my son and his smoking issues. I wanted to give you an update on what happened!”
“With your advice, I talked to him about quitting. When he said, "I know I should, but I like it," I actually had a response! (Before I spoke to you, I wouldn't have known what to say.) We discussed why he liked it, and how we might help him do other things to get relaxed.”
“Though he'll never know how hard it was for me, I said, "Well, if you're going to be smoking while you're home, can we talk about some limits you might try and set for yourself?" I also asked that if I was going to respect his right to smoke, would he please respect my limits by not smoking in front of any of his siblings. He agreed right away.”
“Your advice was invaluable to me! I feel confident that I am helping my son to overcome this nisayon, and that he will in the end, stop smoking. I also feel that I gained a greater closeness to my son through the questions you suggested I ask him. Last, but decidely not least, I feel like if I need more advice, I have someone I can ask.”
“Dear Rabbi Ackerman:
My wife and I have just completed our 12th session with our mentor, Mrs._________. I cannot find the words to adequately describe how much my family has benefited from your services. We are not only grateful to you for making yourself available to help us deal with our difficulties; we are even more grateful for the fact that you assigned to us such an outstanding, highly capable and most pleasant human being as Mrs. _____. We found her to be intelligent, sincere, and very sympathetic to our situation. I am sure that we can credit at least part of her remarkable success to your exemplary leadership.
Thank you very much for all your help. If I can ever be of service to you or your organization, please do not hesitate to call on me.”
Become a Project Y.E.S. Parent Mentor today!